Grim News

For those looking for the hottest new investment deal there are now Sharia compliant ETFs on the market to meet your investing needs.  Javelin Exchange Traded Shares launched its first fund at the beginning of July catering to the Islamic market.

The Dow Jones Islamic Market International Index Fund (JVS) seeks performance that corresponds to a benchmark index that measures investment return on “Shari’ah compliant securities. JETS notes that certain businesses are incompatible with Islamic law and therefore excluded from the fund. These sectors include alcohol, conventional financial services (banking, insurance, etc.), casinos, firearms, and pork-related products.

That last part doesn’t sound very fun.  To many people investing is not fun, so let’s get down to basics.  The JVS fund opened up on July 1, 2009.  The opening price per share was $399.99.  In less than a week the fund as fallen down to $38.85 per share.  Sharia doesn’t appear to be a good investment.

The stock market works through good old supply and demand.  Let’s take a look at the JVS fund in depth and see what it looks like.

This looks very pitiful.  There were only 100 shares of the Sharia fund traded today.  It’s not that popular compared to other picks.  Let’s take a look at the Level II screen to see how many shares are for sale.  A Level II Quote lets you see all the buyers and sellers along with their prices.

The Ask price is what a seller wants to get rid of his shares.  If you’re a buyer you typically buy from a seller at the Ask price.  Here we have someone with 800 shares of the Sharia fund and they are Asking $399.99 for each share.  If you want to buy 1000 shares, you’re out of luck because there are only 800 shares for sale right now.

The Bid or Offer price is what a Buyer is offering to take the stock off someone’s hands.  There is a buyer out there and he’s wanting to buy 800 share of the Sharia fund, but he’s only willing to pay $0.15 for each share.  He obviously doesn’t think these things are worth that much.

What this means is, if you want to buy some Sharia fund shares you can put an order in to buy at the Ask price of $399.99 per share.  You could set your Bid price lower than the Ask price to see if the seller will lower his price.  If you Bid price is higher than the currently listed $0.15 your order will appear above the one pictured.  This goes on and on until both parties enter the same price for the stock if you don’t offer the Ask price up front.  But it gets even better folks.  Let’s say that you bought 800 shares of the Sharia fund for $399.99 and now you decide you don’t want them.  There’s a buyer out there offering $0.15 per share.  You can either lose $399.84 per share and take him up on his offer price, or you can name your price and it will appear in the Ask column.  Then you hope and pray to Allah that someone will buy those shares at your Ask price.

Now let’s look at a more exciting example, the Direxion 3x Daily Financial Bear (FAZ)

This fund also has a good example in it to illustrate price moves with a volume of over 185 Million shares traded today.  There are a total of 22400 shares for sale between the NASDAQ and PACX at 5.07.  What happens if someone buys all those shares from these two sellers?  The price next price listed is 5.08 with 3500 shares.  That is what happens behind the scenes when a stock price goes up.  Unfortunately the Sharia fund is unlikely to go up since it only has one seller who will probably never close a deal at $399.99.

This fund (FAZ) is not Sharia compliant.  This is a fund that performs opposite to the traditional financial sector we all know and love to hate (Citigroup, AIG, Bank of America, etc).  This is a 3x short fund so it basically means when the stock market goes down, this thing goes up at 3x the rate.  If the banking sector is down 5%, this fund goes up 15%.  And that’s how you make money when the market is going down.  Unlike the Sharia fund.  This puppy has had over 185 million shares traded today.  The Sharia fund on the other hand only traded 100 shares today.  Finance is hot, Sharia is not.

If you aren’t feeling very Sharia, then the Vice Fund (VICEX) might be worth taking a look at.  It is a traditional mutual fund and not an ETF.  The fund managers invest in tobacco, alcohol, and casino companies.  In a recession vice companies tend to do better than regular companies . I don’t own any VICEX shares, but it may be something worth researching if you don’t find the Sharia funds to be that profitable or fun.

In a medium as obviously self-indulgent as the blog, there are some topics on which I normally refrain from commenting out of a respect for the rights of others to go their own way.  I think that I’m going to shove that mental barrier aside today.  Why, you ask?  One of my favorite daily reads is Deus Ex Malcontent, a blog by Chez Pazienza.  Chez, as is no secret from anyone who reads his blog, is going through some marital problems and writes frequently about what he’s going through.

The thing is, what Chez is feeling is hardly unique.  Songs are written, poems are composed, suicide notes are scrawled with many of the same feelings, they just aren’t as eloquently written in most cases.  We are constantly bombarded with the word “Love” in the course of talking about relationships, especially with our spouses or significant others, but ask someone to define the word.  Seriously, find 5 people you know and ask them “What does love mean?”

I’ll give you 10-1 odds that their answer is a mish-mash of Hallmark Card sentimentality and touchy-feely nonsense.

Leave it to the crankiest sonofabitch that ever trod shoeleather to give you all an explanation which will work for you, and probably help you in your relationships to boot.  First, let me provide some points on what “Love” is not.

• “Love” is not something that humans possess in finite quality.  You not only can love more than one person, you probably do.
• “Love” has not a damn thing to do with sex or desire.  The love you have for your parents or children is THE EXACT SAME (seriously, I can’t emphasize this enough) as the love you have for a spouse.
• “Love” may make a relationship work, but it is far from the only ingredient.  Love is not “all you need”.
• As nauseating as the “Love is patient. Love is kind.” speech from I Corinthians is, there is fundamental truth there.
• “Love” is not about mutual possession.  Two people can love each other regardless of the time or distance that separates them.
• Hate is not the opposite of Love.  They are two sides of the same emotion, and once you read my definition of “Love”, you’ll understand why.

First, to show you how messed up we have become with respect to this word, here is the Random House Dictionary definition of the word.

Srsly? Whatever happened to not using a word to define itself?  “To love is… to have love or affection”  Really, genius?

Robert Heinlein, via his most famous character, Lazarus Long, once came up with a definition of love that has worked for me over the years.

“Love” is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own… Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.

Not bad, eh?  When you take the time to think about all of the people you truly love, and the people who truly love you, how many times do you think of phrases such as “I just want you to be happy” or “I just want what’s best for you.“  By way of contrast, let’s look at something like a high school crush where the predominant feeling may be described as “I just want so-and-so to like me“  Desire?  Lust?  Probably.  Love?   Definitely not.  Here’s where “Love” has to be put in the proper place in a relationship.  It is quite possible to love someone, but be better off without them in your life.  How, you ask?

• Have you ever been in a relationship where you are constantly demonstrating love for another person, but the other person isn’t reciprocating?
• Have you ever been an “enabler” for someone you love who is engaging in self-destructive behavior?
• Have you ever heard the phrase “If you REALLY loved me…” and felt manipulated?
• Have you ever loved someone that you can’t trust?

Getting away from these people doesn’t mean that you no longer love them.  It means that you understand that your relationship with them is unsustainable for other reasons.  The opposite of love is not hate.  Hate is just a polarity shift.  Hate means that your feelings are just as strong.  The opposite of love is indifference.  If you no longer care, you no longer love.  It is important for your own self-esteem (and self-preservation) to stay away from those who would use your love against you in order to serve their own selfish needs.  It hurts, but it is necessary.

What makes me qualified to pontificate on the meaning of love?  For starters, I enjoy a very stable and happy relationship with my wife, and my definition works very well in the context of our relationship.  Our relationship is built more more than love.  We trust each other.  We know, despite everything that has happened in our relationship, that at the end of the day, she’ll be there for me and I will be there for her.  If that trust were to disappear, so would our relationship, but I’d still love her with all my heart.

Chez, I hope things turn out well for you.  I know that what you are going through isn’t easy, but understand that there are a lot of people out there who love you and want you to be happy.

An excellent example of journalism chronicling the abuses by the Iranians.

Lasala, 33, is one of 10 young employees and interns at the Iran Human Rights Documentation Center who are collecting videos, photos and news reports as they wait to arrange interviews with eyewitnesses to the violence.

With all of the chaos over in Iran, government stupidity always manages to shine through.  The government has “asked” members of the soccer team to resign for wearing green wristbands, showing support for the protesters.  Since they effectively fired a good portion of their soccer team without consideration for how it would affect the team’s performance and as a byproduct, national glory, we can conclude that Iran is run by losers.  That’s right.  They decide to put symbolism ahead of building a winning team.  It’s a Dilbert cartoon with turbans which means Elbonia is a good analogy here.  If they can’t build a winning soccer team, then how can they expect to build a winning economy or military?

They also said that they plan to clear the country of hooligans.  Which is pretty easy to do when you don’t have a serviceable soccer team anymore.  I had no idea there were that many British soccer fans in Iran, but if the Supreme Leader doesn’t like them trashing his stadium then he’s well within his right to make a losing soccer team so the Brits don’t destroy the place after they lose the match.

Poor planning is one many reasons Iran will fail and Asians will end up ruling that part of the world.  We understand the value of building a winning team at all levels.  We also understand that winning at all levels is important.  But Iran has yet to produce a Supreme Leader that rivals the skills of Mao Zedong or Ho Chi Minh.  Not that the current Supreme Leader has any math skills to speak of since he only realized this week that more than 100% voter turn out is not normal.

Too much serious stuff going on here, so I thought I’d post something that, frankly, I find hilarious.

Enjoy.

By the way, this clown (Benny Hinn), is the same Jesus-huckster who convinced Evander Holyfield to write a check for a quarter million bucks.  I guess it should be no surprise, given Holyfield’s masterful job at managing money, that Evander not only had his house foreclosed but is a deadbeat dad to boot.

P.T. Barnum was right…