Grim News

Ding Dong, the Bitch is Dead. (politically speaking)

Now most journalism professionals or bloggers who get paid for their trouble will take the time to temporize or moderate their words out of a sense of respect for the topic or person in question.

I am neither, nor do I have any respect for the person in question.

Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska on the 4th of July weekend.  Did she think we wouldn’t notice?  She quits her job only 2 1/2 years into her first term as Alaska’s governor, with her only other executive experience being Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, a town of 7,000 people.  Let’s put this in perspective.  As a director at Dragon*Con, *I* have experience managing a community with more people than that!

From the Washington Post:

Palin offered few clues about her ambitions but said she arrived at her decision in part to protect her family, which has faced withering criticism and occasional mockery, and to escape ethics probes that have drained her family’s finances and hampered her ability to govern. She said leaving office is in the best interest of the state and will allow her to more effectively advocate for issues of importance to her, including energy independence and national security.

Hey, bitch!  Who was it that decided to have their pregnant-unwed-teenage daughter tour as a spokesman for “abstinence education” in the first place?  Who was it that engaged in unethical behavior?  Who, exactly, is going to give a damn what you think about anything now that you hold no office and no realistic chance of regaining one?  How is it our fault that you have managed to fuck up everything in your life from your family to your state?

More importantly, why would any sane human being give you another chance to do it again?

And now you’re talking about suing a blogger because she has reported some of the various rumors surrounding you and your administration?

Oh, PLEASE give me a piece of that action!

In fact, I’ll make it easy for you.  Here is a laundry list of all of the rumors, none of which have been asserted as fact, that have given you cause not only to sue bloggers in a clear violation of everything that the 1st Amendment stands for, but also have given you cause to quit your job after 2.5 years, most of which was spent on the McCain’s campaign trail.

Naturally, with the overwhelming doubt in the minds of the public that these could possibly be the real reasons she was stepping down, questions were asked. Phones started ringing in Alaska from friends and relatives who wanted the “real story.” Alaskans were even asking each other what they thought was really going on. Questions were many and answers were few.

There seemed to be dozens of rumors circulating about the governor at any given point in time, and this week was no different. People were muttering about personal family problems, about new ethics complaints, about legal cases involving her use of personal off-the-radar Yahoo email accounts to conduct state business. Then there was talk about the legality of her legal defense fund which is currently being questioned, or maybe even personal illness. But the ones that seems to have gotten under the governor’s skin were reports involving rumors floating about town that there was some kind of shenanigans going on with the simultaneous building of the governor’s house, and the Wasilla Sports Complex, and a supposed IRS investigation. Was this the infamous rumor of an “iceberg” that could sink the S.S. Palin as had been reported on another Alaskan blog? Are any of these rumors actually true? Who knows. Are they being talked about in open conversation at holiday barbeques all over the state today? Oh, yes.

There it is, I’m blogging about it too.  Sue me.  I fucking DARE you.

In fact, I’ll make it even easier!

Here are some other instances where I have blogged about you.  Surely you can find something to sue me over.

• Sarah Palin’s connections to Scientology
• Sarah Palin is full of it alright…
• Sarah Palin, You’ve got FAIL!
• Sarah Palin, the ultimate hypocrite.
• Sarah Palin, The Master Debater *snicker*
• How I am more qualified to be Vice President than Sarah Palin

Somewhere in that twisted mind of Palin’s, she is seriously considering running for President in 3 years.  Let’s take a look at just some of the strategic missteps that she has made.

1. She has quit the only significant elected office that she has ever held. (Sorry dear, Mayor of Dogpatch doesn’t make you qualified to be President.)
2. She has stated as one of her reasons for quitting the aforementioned job that the press’s “withering criticism” and “mockery” were too much for her to handle.  Really?  If you think the reporters on the political beat in Anchorage are a riot, just WAIT till you meet the Washington Press Corps.  Oh, that’s right.  You did, and they had a field day with you.
3. She is catering to the nutbag-conservative-Christian base, but has an unwed teenage daughter with a child of her own who is going around preaching the virtues of abstinence.  (Sorry, but this cracks me up every time.)
4. Her husband makes Larry The Cable Guy look like Noam Chomsky.

I don’t know how many of you remember when the Clinton’s came to Washington, but the endless “Here come the Clampett’s” references were a staple of early 90′s comedy.  How the GOP managed to find an even more inbred, unsophisticated, simple-minded clan to foist on the American electorate is still a mystery to me.  At least the Clinton’s belied their image and proved to be remarkably sophisticated operators in Washington.  Could you even fathom the possibility of Todd Palin becoming Secretary of State someday?

I think I just cracked a rib.

So please, Sarah… Add me to your list of bloggers that are going to be hit with a lawsuit for reporting rumors about you and your administration.  I’m begging you.