The most awesomest job in the world


OK, this guy has the best job perk I have ever read:

Surely the envy of any desk-bound office worker, Tommy Lynch has travelled over 27,000 miles this year, for his job testing holiday resort waterslides.

Mr Lynch, 29, works for holiday giant First Choice, checking the height, speed, water quantity and landing of the flumes, as well as all safety aspects.

He said: ‘I do have the best job in the world. No-one believes me when I tell them what I do.

This guy flies all over the world and slides down waterslides for a living! I think the only guy that tops that is the guy who gets to body paint naked supermodels.

Idiot Prosecutor Charges Girl With Child PornographyTo Set Guidepost


We now see what was going on with ass hat prosecutor Ken Oswalt.  In a previous post we covered how this idiot is charging a 15-year old girl with child pornogarphy for taking pictures of herself.  New news coverage has been released and we get to see what this jerk is all about.  He’s not charging her with something that will have her sent away for 20-years or make her register as a sex offender because what she did was wrong.

“I wanted to see what happened here and use that as a guidepost to see what the court finds appropriate,”

That’s right ladies and gentlemen.  This asshole is going to toy around with this girls life because he wants to set some kind of legal precedent.   He actually has the balls to say that he’s not doing his job, but he is instead doing legal research.

The other thing here is that a cellphone is now a criminal tool.

The defendant entered a plea of admit to one count of possession of criminal tools, a fifth-degree felony, for the employing a cell phone to transmit nude photos of herself to others in September.

That’s right a cellphone is a criminal tool.  This is a great win for the PATRIOT ACT fan club.  There are over 500 million felons in the US.  No, I’m not being too rough on the injustice system here.  This is just idiocy that this prosecutor would consider all cellphones a criminal tool and then make this poor girl plead guilty to possessing a god damn cellphone.  Watch out Steve Jobs!  Ken Oswalt is going to be coming after you next for making criminal tools.  The next innovation from Apple will be the iJail.

What a waste of taxpayer money and of a few kilobytes of space in the Bar Association’s database.  This guy needs his law license revoked and his records need to be deleted from the system.

We’re reposting Mr. Oswalt’s contact information again in case you feel that he didn’t understand what you said the first time when you informed him that he’s an ass hat.

Licking County Prosecutor’s Office
20 S. Second St, Newark, Ohio 43055
General Telephone number: (740) 670-5255
Fax 740-670-5241

Mumbai Terrorists Actually Frusterated Gay Men


Any religion that advocates strict sexual repression usually has unintended consequences of that repression.  Recent news has been released that the terrorists in Mumbai sodomized both male and female hostages.  According to reports the terrorists were so sexually frustrated that some of them were fighting the police while others were performing gay acts on their victims.

Mumbai Terror Victims

Mumbai Terror Victims

This raises the stakes in the War on Terror.  Not only do we have to worry about being killed by the terrorists, but we now have to be worried about being sodomized as well.  The main problem here is that police officials still say that you’re better off not resisting than trying to fight back if you’re kidnapped or taken hostage.  That strategy really worked well on 9/11 didn’t it?  It will be interesting to see when law enforcement types get their heads out of their asses and realize that there is a greater than 50% chance of getting killed by any perp when certain crimes are committed.  I’m just waiting for some papers at Ready.Gov to be published detailing how we should be ready for a back door terrorist invasion.

I noticed that the Pope is silent on this issue specifically, but he does liken gayness to Global Warming.  So if there is a connection here, then why don’t we save the planet by bombing the gay terrorists out of existance?  It’s something both liberals and conservatives can agree on.

Ham fail


fail owned pwned pictures

Submitted by Pascal V

      

More Christmas Metal!


Ah youth…

Twisted Sister is still around, 20 years after asking the question “What do you wanna do with your life?”

I only hope I’m still having this much fun when I’m their age.

-Grim

Saudi Court Rules 8-Year Old Can’t Divorce 58 Year Old Husband


pThe loving religion of Islam is shown that it loves the rights of men, not women and children. A judge in Unayzah has a href=”http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1099447/Saudi-court-tells-girl-aged-EIGHT-divorce-husband-50-years-senior.html”ruled/a that the eight year old girl may not divorce her husband until she reaches puberty. The father of the little girl apparently sold her off for 5000 GPB (10,000 USD, 125M VND) because he was having some financial trouble. This sort of thing is quite normal for that part of the world where child brides are quite common. Even Mohammad consummated his marriage with an 8-year old. So what we have here is a judge sanctioning the molestation of a child for at least another 5 years. Is this the multicultural world you’re looking forward to? Politicians in Mississippi and West Virginia need not answer that./p

Death Metal Christmas Carols


I caught the tail end of this on XM’s Liquid Metal channel tonight and I laughed so damned hard that I just had to find this online and share it with you all.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Austrian Death Machine with one of the world’s best loved Christmas carols.

Nailing Your Wife: Nathan Fillion Does Porn


The title says it all enjoy the first of our down time videos. This one brought to you by Spike TV.

Kwanzaa is not a holiday, and only idiots think so.


Gosh, I hope I wasn’t ambivalent in that headline.

For those of you blessed enough to live under a rock, “Kwanzaa” is a made up holiday which is celebrated by certain, misguided, members of the Black community in this country.  The only reason this, so-called, holiday gets to see the light of day from the rest of the country can be summed up in three words. “White Man’s Guilt”.

First, the facts.

Kwanzaa is the creation of one Ron Karenga, born Ronald Everett.  Mr. Karenga (He has legally changed his name, so I’m not going to employ the “Cassius Clay” technique here.) invented the holiday in 1966 while a member of a Black Nationalist group called “Organization US“.

We are going to ignore, for the most part, the fact that this organization was at odds with other Black Nationalist groups such as the Black Panthers and that the organization was responsible for killing two Black Panthers over the issue of who would take over a teaching position.

We won’t even focus on the fact that Karenga and a couple of his followers were sentenced to prison.

In 1971, Karenga, Louis Smith, and Luz Maria Tamayo were convicted of felony assault and imprisoned for allegedly assaulting and torturing two women members of US, Deborah Jones and Gail Davis. A May 14, 1971, article in the Los Angeles Times described the testimony of one of the women: “Deborah Jones, who once was given the Swahili title of an African queen, said she and Gail Davis were whipped with an electrical cord and beaten with a karate baton after being ordered to remove their clothes. She testified that a hot soldering iron was placed in Miss Davis’ mouth and placed against Miss Davis’ face and that one of her own big toes was tightened in a vise. Karenga, head of US, also put detergent and running hoses in their mouths, she said. They also were hit on the heads with toasters.

We’re not going to talk about the fact that Karenga is a scumbag because the case against “Kwanzaa” can be made much more easily without those facts getting in the way.

Let’s start with a simple test.

Who celebrates the virtues “Unity, Self-Determination, Collective Work and Responsibility, Cooperative Economics, Purpose, Creativity, and Faith”?

  1. Marxists
  2. People who celebrate “Kwanzaa”
  3. All of the above

If you took option number 3, congratulations!  Karenga doesn’t deny that he “cribbed” these principles directly from Marxism.  “Collective Work”?  “Cooperative Economics”?  Meh.

Then, of course, there is the name itself.  “Kwanzaa” is derived from the Swahili phrase for “First Fruits” (or “First Harvest”) matunda ya kwanza. Now call me crazy, but isn’t December an odd time of year to have a holiday celebrating “First Fruits”?  And Swahili?  Now, I admit that I am no college professor of history, but I do know a couple of things.

  1. African slaves that were sent to North America came primarily from West Africa.
  2. Swahili was spoken primarily in East Africa.

This would be roughly equivalent to creating a Spanish holiday based on Muscovite culture and Russian traditions on the grounds that “It’s all European, isn’t it?”  Now I realize that all white people look alike, but c’mon, will ya?

So we have a Convicted Felon and erstwhile 1960′s radical who is making up a holiday based on Marxist beliefs and a culture that he isn’t even a part of.  That’s a Charlie Brown special waiting to happen, isn’t it?

Far be it from me to piss all over a cultural holiday that isn’t my own.  I don’t write rants saying that Ramadan isn’t a real holiday because I’m not a Muslim.  I don’t claim that Hanukkah isn’t worth celebrating or acknowledging because I happen not to be Jewish.  Hell, my claim to Christianity is so thin that I could pick my teeth with it, but that doesn’t stop me from celebrating Christmas every year.

So why hate on “Kwanzaa”?

Because it is a lie, based on lies, and perpetuated by liars.  Because every time some idiot with an attitude tries to “correct” me by saying “Happy Kwanzaa” every time I wish them a Merry Christmas, I want to scoop out their entrails with a rusty spork.  The only thing worse than not knowing your history is to make it up and expect the rest of us to believe it out of an expectation of racial guilt.  The world didn’t buy it when it was called “Aryanism” and perpetuated by some “German” named Adolf Hitler, and it shouldn’t buy into it now.

Fuck that, and fuck “Kwanzaa”.

Merry Christmas!

-Grim

Join The Impact: November 15th Atlanta Protest The Full Coverage


Certified Sound’s coverage of Join The Impact’s November 15th Protest of Prop 8. Be warned, we’re looking at almost an hour run time with footage including key speakers and the Atlanta’s Gay Men’s Chorus.

Atlanta Protest Part 1
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Atlanta Protest Part 2
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You can find out more about at Join The Impact