Health Care and the concept of “your” tax dollars.


One of the favorite arguments of so-called libertarians is that tax money is their money that government takes under threat of force.  Government, they argue, forces tax payers to surrender the fruits of their labor so that they can “give” money to the “underachievers” in society, and that by doing so, exert some sort of tyranny on behalf of the lower classes in society.

Some argue that government inefficiency is so endemic that the private sector can do things better in nearly every case.  Extreme Libertarian views would have every road be a toll road, every police force paid for by private citizens, and every social safety net run by a charity or other private organization.  Failure is met with the response “Tough Shit”, and to the victors go all spoils.

I’m going to tell you a different story.

I have a friend named Jay.  Jay’s son, Tyler, was born just 2 days before 9/11.  Just after Ty’s 3rd birthday, he started showing some symptoms of illness.  At first, they appeared to be allergies.  Then he started having headaches and nausea.  The next diagnosis was Bell’s Palsy.   After Jay pushed the doctors to give Tyler a CAT scan, they found a tumor on Tyler’s brain stem in June of 2005.  After surgery and more than a year’s worth of chemotherapy, Tyler was symptom free.

In order to pay the expenses associated with his medical care, Jay and his wife went deep into debt.  Insurance didn’t cover everything, and even his friends started a PayPal donation fund to help make ends meet.

When the symptoms returned later in 2007, Ty had to endure more chemotherapy and radiation treatments.   Now it wasn’t just Jay and his wife being stretched past their financial limits.  Their extended family and friends were pitching in even more money.  The community around Jay and his family went to the mat for Jay and his brave little boy.

It wasn’t enough.  Tyler Hibinger passed away last night.  He was 7 years old.

Having adequate insurance would not have saved Tyler’s life, but the crushing financial burden of this unspeakable ordeal isn’t going away just because Tyler lost his struggle.  There is no damn reason that this country and it’s people can’t get together and provide a safety net for families like Jay’s.  There is no damn reason that “We the People” can’t chip in together and provide coverage for families who need it.

“Tough Shit” is not good enough.

If my taxes have to go up a few percentage points per year in order to make sure that no more families have to face a financial burden like this in order to save their child’s life, then I’ll fuckin’ pay it and be glad I could help.  If others want to look at this and say that government is taking their money at the point of a gun, then let’s tell them “Tough Shit” and see how they like it!

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

Our Union is pretty fucking far from perfect when citizens can, in good conscience, tell a family like Jay’s “Tough Shit”.  We’re doing a pretty lousy job of promoting the general welfare when we tell millions of our fellow citizens “If you get sick, you’re on your own.”.  There are no Blessings of Liberty to a family who will be in debt for a significant part of the rest of their lives because they had to take care of a sick child.

There will come a day, and I don’t think it’s that far off, when folks look up and see no perfect Union, no Justice, no general Welfare, and precious few Blessings of Liberty.  The step after that will pretty much kill the notion of domestic Tranquility.

If we are the nation that we all say that we are, it is time to step up, pitch in, make sure your friends and neighbors aren’t left to the tender mercies of Social Darwinism and come up with a solution.  Insurance companies aren’t going to do it.  Doctors and hospitals aren’t going to do it.  We have to do it as one nation, under God (or Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Insert the deity of your choice here), indivisible, with liberty and justice for all, not just those who can afford it.

R.I.P. Tyler.  Uncle Grimmy loves you.

Gamers suck


Ironic considering my “day job” blog, isn’t it?

Obviously, with such an attention grabbing headline, a little clarification is in order.  Those of you who are addicted to Minesweeper or Addictinggames.com, you can leave the room.  You play games, but you are not a gamer.  Those of you who play World of Warcraft but don’t read or post in forums, or spend your out-of-game time reading blogs and information sites, you can leave the room.  You might be a gamer, but you have perspective, and this rant isn’t about you.

I’m talking to YOU, fan boy.

I was once one of you.  I played MMOs up to 18 hours/day on weekends and 5-6 hours/night during the week.  Sure, I had a job, but it was the kind of job where I could follow forums and informational websites while I worked.   Fast forward a few years, and while I write a gaming column, run 2 gaming websites, direct a gaming track for Dragon*Con, and still find time to remain subscribed to 4 different MMOs, I have a job, a wife, and a kid who all rank higher on my list of “important things in life.”  In short, I have perspective.

You see?  I love gaming.  It is a hobby that I am passionate about.  I enjoy any new game that comes out if only for a brief time because it is a much more interactive form of entertainment than a tv show or a book.  I appreciate the time and effort it takes to create a game.  The only real annoyance I have with games are the hardcore gamers who spend all their time whining and bitching about how this game isn’t good enough or that game sucks, or why cant developers just listen to them and change their games to the player’s satisfaction.

If you don’t like it, don’t play.  If you don’t like a TV show, change the channel.  If you don’t like a book, put it down.  Your personal preferences are not sufficient reason to vent spleen in a public forum.  Nobody cares, least of all me.  I realize the inherent hypocrisy of this statement.  Here I am, bitching in a “public” place about my personal distastes.  The difference is, this is “my house”, so to speak.  I’m not going to the World of Warcraft forums to vent.  I’m not stepping into someone else’s home and shitting on the floor.

When in a public forum, try to contribute something to the larger discussion.  If you have a problem with a game, provide some details and ask for an explanation.

I’ve noticed that mages in World of Warcraft don’t seem to be able to keep up with other classes in terms of damage.  Why is that?

Provoke discussion, gather information, maybe you’ll learn something that improves your experience and can serve as a guide to someone else who might have the same issue.  That is what public forums are for.  Unfortunately, what you find more often is along the lines of:

“ZOMG! This game is teh sux!11eleventyONE!”

Thanks for your contribution to the world’s store of information, you fucking chuzzlewit.  The only thing more obnoxious than gamers who don’t know any better, are gamers who realize exactly what they’re doing.  Call them trolls, call them flame-bait, call them “attention starved babies whose mommies didn’t love them enough”.  If you are new to the Internet and need a guide to etiquette, I’ll make it simple for you.  If you wouldn’t say it to someone while standing in the same room with them, don’t say it online.  The Internet is about information.  If you honestly think that you are completely anonymous, guess again.

It has been my experience that gamers, even the most obnoxiously hard core types, are much more polite in person.  When I run the MMORPG events at Dragon*Con every year, the people are friendly and engaging.  Even the ones who complain are persuasive in their arguments and are just looking for answers.  If I had a choice between running a convention every month or running an online forum, there’s no contest.  Everyone has a story, and it is a genuine pleasure to meet folks who have the same interests and passions that I do.

So why then do forums not give people the same experience?  Everyone is there for the same reason.  Everyone has at least one thing in common.  It is because forum administrators, in the name of “giving everyone a voice” do not hold forum posters accountable for their words.  On my own forums, I am notorious for being quick with the “ban hammer”.  If a new poster comes around and starts flaming or trolling, I let the regulars have a little fun with him, then ban the new guy without a second thought.  Fair? No.  Free speech? Nope.  If you want to complain and be a pest, go do it somewhere else.

That said, I believe that everyone DOES have the right to make their opinions heard.  You have the right to say the most shocking and offensive things that pop into that little pea-sized brain of yours.  You just don’t have the right to say it on my server or by using my bandwidth.  Philosophically, it is a position that I wish more gaming websites would adopt.  Lock out the ‘tards.  Silence the morons.  Improve the signal-to-noise ratio of your forums and blogs until they again become useful repositories of information and commentary.

I honestly believe that communication in the Internet age has become unpersonal and almost psychopathic in it’s disregard for the sensibilities of the person on the other end.  As I said before, if you wouldn’t say it while standing in front of someone, don’t say it to them on the Internet.

Ask Massively: Please make George Lucas stopMassively


An open letter to “Undecided” voters. Why you should vote for Obama.


I have a disgusting personal habit.  I enjoy talking politics with friends, family, even total strangers if they should show the inclination to participate in my disgusting habit with me.  Those of you who have been reading this site (and there have been a surprisingly large number of you… thank you!) have probably figured out by now that I cast my vote for Barack Obama.

Those of you who are unfortunate enough to know me well are probably a little surprised by that.  As a former ditto-head and frequent connoisseur of talk radio, I am not exactly the Democrats “core demographic”.  Typically, “30-40 year old white males working white collar jobs” are a part of the Conservative base, or at the very least Libertarian.

In an ideal world, I would vote for a candidate like Ron Paul or perhaps even Bob Barr, the Libertarian candidate.  Votes are *never* wasted, even if you write in “M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E” on your ballot.  Your vote is a voice and your voice needs to be heard, even if it is a discordant note.  However, I don’t believe that any third party candidate that is out there today has a chance of successfully implementing their policies if elected President.  That is a topic and a column (more likely, book) for another day, but suffice to say that there is not a *viable* third party in this country yet, nor is there likely to be one in the near future.  Electing a Libertarian or any other third party candidate for President would ultimately do more harm than good for our country.

Traditionally, I have leaned closer to the Republican side of the aisle.  I don’t like high taxes, and I think that many government programs are a waste of money.  I don’t think that politicians can be trusted to look out for our interests, and that individuals are more likely to make correct decisions for themselves than government can in general.  So why on Earth would I vote for Obama?

In the words of Ronald Reagan, “I didn’t leave the Republican Party, it left me.”

Over the course of the past 30 years, the “Conservative movement” has been co-opted by people who are no more conservative than Ted Kennedy (or Barack Obama, for that matter).  Between tax incentives for corporations to move jobs offshore, an interventionist foreign policy, erosion of civil liberties, gun nuts, and shameless pandering to a religious base that would see just about everything made illegal (gambling, abortion, drugs, alcohol, you name it).   The party of “personal responsibility” is anything but.  I’ll address each of these groups one by one in a bit.

The fact of the matter is that government interferes in just about everyone’s life.  Death and taxes have a new roommate.  The question you must answer is “What can you live with?”  Can you handle paying 3% more per year in taxes if it means that the government doesn’t wiretap your phone calls or have a say in who can get married and who can’t? What issues are important to you?

In business, the Republicans (aided and abetted by Democrats) passed a 700 billion dollar bailout package for Wall Street.  Ostensibly, the package was supposed to be used in order to fund new loans and stimulate the economy.  In actuality, the money is being used to pay for “executive compensation packages” which are lining the pockets of Wall Street fat cats.  700 billion would pay for a lot of social programs and leave enough to fund a few R&D projects.  Do we really need to bankroll failed CEOs on Wall Street?  If we had done nothing, and let those banks fail, smaller institutions would have purchased the failed bank’s assets for pennies on the dollar.  Your mortgage would still be intact.  Your credit cards and loans wouldn’t have gone anywhere.  The economy would move on and eventually recover.  Your 401(k) would have taken the same hit that it already has taken.

I’m not trying to paint corporations as some nefarious entity.  Corporations and other businesses exist for one purpose and one purpose only.  Making money.  They follow “the rules” because failing to do so costs them money.  They move jobs offshore because it is cheaper to do so than it is to keep them here.  Why on Earth would any sane politician write tax laws to encourage job movement overseas?  Obviously Corporations would favor such laws, it allows them to make more money.  Corporations have no sense of “community responsibility”, nor should they.  They make money.  That’s all they do.  If government decides to re-write the tax code to provide incentives for certain business activities, then corporations will blindly follow along and go where the money is.  It’s not a question of personal liberty to tax corporations or to provide incentives for them to keep jobs in the US.  It is a question of money, and “how much is enough?”

In foreign policy, the Bush Doctrine of pre-emptive war has done more to damage the United States’ image in the world than any other action in our recent history.  After the attacks of 9/11, Bush had the political capital he needed to take the fight to the terrorists.  Democrats and Republicans alike stood with President Bush and were ready for him to lead us to war.  Even the French, later lampooned and mocked as “Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys” boasted newspaper headlines saying “We are all Americans”  America had the chance to turn a tragedy into an International moment of triumph.  We could have stood at the head of an entire host of nations saying “Terrorism will not have a place in our world”.  With the right strategy, we could have brought Al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden to justice while offering our enemies the same rights that our own citizens enjoy.  A fair trial, a public presentation of evidence, a chance to rebut and defend themselves in open court.  We could have gone into Afghanistan, routed the Taliban, and “brought ‘em back alive”.  We could have fought for justice using the very principles that we claim to hold dearest, and won.

Instead we went to Iraq.

Our government lied about weapons of mass destruction.  Our government engaged in a petty propaganda campaign to tie Saddam Hussein to Al Qaeda.  Our allies around the world walked away from us (except for Great Britain, and while we were wrong in this instance, you can’t help but admire a nation who will stand by you no matter what.)  Our enemies had a neutral field to fight on and other nations who might otherwise have not gotten involved now had a reason to jump in the fray against us even if they did so in a clandestine fashion. (Syria, Iran, etc.)  Now, our best reason for remaining in Iraq is essentially “We broke it. We bought it.”

Finally, let’s take a look at the religious base of the Republican party.  The same base that McCain has courted by nominating Sarah Palin as his running mate.

Drugs.  We’ve spent billions on the “War on Drugs” and it has been a colossal failure.  Having failed to learn the lessons from the Prohibition era (which gave birth to the Mafia), outlawing recreational drug usage has resulted in a proliferation of gang activity and crime.  There are drug offenders in prison serving longer sentences than rapists and even murderers.  Has it worked?  Just say “no”

Abortion.  How is this still an issue?  Roe v Wade was over 35 years ago.  The fact that this issue is still a plank in the Republican platform is mind-boggling.  The fact that John McCain can say the following two sentences back to back with a straight face is chilling.  “I do not believe that someone who has supported Roe v. Wade that would be part of those qualifications. But I certainly would not impose any litmus test.” It isn’t chilling because the issue is abortion.  It’s chilling because he knows that there are a significant number of voters out there who will vote for any candidate who vows to fight Roe v Wade.  It’s chilling because most politicians wait at least one speech before contradicting themselves and won’t do it in consecutive sentences.

What these issues show is that the Republican party, allegedly champions of personal responsibility, will pander to the worst elements of our religious faith.  They see nothing wrong with telling individuals how to live their lives just as long as it doesn’t involve money.  They have no problem championing personal responsibility if it means fewer social programs or more money for failed CEOs, but when it comes to drugs, abortion, gay marriage, or what consenting adults do behind closed doors, well that can’t be left to the whims of the masses, can it?  Abortion, gay marriage, and drugs are not issues that matter to me in the slightest.  It is a waste of their time, and more importantly my tax dollars, for government to be involved in those issues to any degree whatsoever.  The apparent hypocrisy of advocating personal responsibility while simultaneously dictating what adults do in their private lives is not lost on me, nor should it be on you.

Why am I voting for Obama?  Because we have to be the ones to tell Republicans “You’re fired”.  They have failed to do their jobs over the last 8 years and it’s time to give the other side a shot at it.  If Obama should stumble and fail to deliver on his promise of “Change we can believe in”, you can rest assured that I’ll be looking for someone to replace him in 4 years.  If Obama comes through on his promises regarding energy, education, and restoring America’s image in the world, I can handle paying a couple thousand dollars more per year in income tax. (I won’t have to.  My taxes would decrease under Obama’s plan, but that’s beside the point.)  I have heard nothing from the McCain campaign that would lead me to believe that his administration would be any different than Bush’s administration.  Change? or More of the same?

Your call.

In the Flesh - Starring John McCain


Hard to believe this is more than 25 years old.  Even harder to believe that this looks like John McCain’s dream political rally.

Here is a sign that your campaign is coming apart at the seams.  At a rally at Iowa State University, the heart of “Red State Country”, your campaign starts booting out college students because they “didn’t look right“.  Now I’ll admit that the word “tolerance” makes me itch because it has been overused by the hypersensitive granola-eating wimps who want us all to join in a rousing chorus of Kumbaya every night, but turning away people from your own political rally because they “didn’t look right“?  If your campaign is so worried about hecklers that you have to canvass the crowd ahead of time to get rid of troublemakers whose only sin is “not looking right”, then how do you expect anyone to trust you long enough to let you lead the country?  What does “looking right” mean?  Is there a dress code for Republicans now?  Are you kicking out anyone who isn’t quite white right enough for you, Senator McCain?

So ya thought ya might like to go to the show.
To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow.
I got me some bad news for you, Sunshine.
Pink isn’t well, he stayed back at the hotel,
And he sent us along as a surrugate band.
We’re gonna find out where you fans really stand.
Are there any queers in the theatre tonight?
Get ‘em up against the wall. — ‘Gainst the wall!
And that one in the spotlight, he don’t look right to me.
Get him up against the wall. — ‘Gainst the wall!
And that one looks Jewish, and that one’s a coon.
Who let all this riffraff into the room?
There’s one smoking a joint, and another with spots!
If I had my way I’d have all of ya shot.

- In the Flesh from Pink Floyd - The Wall

There are some things even telemarketers won’t do


I hate telephone advertising.  While I realize that this is a controversial choice, I am prepared to defend my position against the hordes of angry defenders of the right to interrupt my dinner while peddling your bullshit product/service/charity/political candidate.

That said, a couple of things have happened recently that have made me rethink my opinion.

For starters, about 40 call center employees in Indiana walked off the job rather than read a prepared script bashing Barack Obama for things like:

  • Electing Barack Obama will put your children in danger
  • Barack Obama is soft on crime
  • Coddling criminals and putting them on the streets early

Willie Horton, there is a call for you on the white (fear) courtesy phone!

Of course, the only reason they were asked to read this script was because it illegal to robo-call in the state of Indiana.  If you’d like to hear the ad as it ran in other states, here you go.

If you don’t feel like listening…

Hello, I’m calling for John McCain and the RNC, because Democrats are dangerously weak on crime. Barack Obama has voted against tougher penalties for street gangs, drug-related crimes, and protecting children from danger. Barack Obama and his liberal allies have a disturbing history of coddling criminals. so we can’t trust their judgment to keep our families safe. This call was paid for by the Republican National Committee and McCain-Palin 2008 at 866 558-5591. Thank you, bye

Hey Senator McCain, if minimum wage phone monkeys can see through your bullshit, how well do you think this is going to play with the rest of the country?  Maybe you could outsource the calls to India since they neither know, nor care, about you or the American public.

Think about this for a minute, telemarketing is one of the slimiest professions known to man, even prostitution is more honest about what it is than a telemarketer who calls during dinner asking to speak to Mr. or Mrs. So-and-so about something “REALLY important”.  If these guys are saying “No thanks, I have standards.” to your message, then maybe you should re-think the message.

Maybe if you were more like this guy, you could have Sarah Palin do something useful for your campaign.

Oh God, I think I caught the Liberal disease!


Let’s face it.  I’m a southerner.  I was born in the south (South Carolina), spent my youth in the south (Florida and Georgia), went to college in the south (Georgia Tech) and remain in the south to this day.  I know what grits are made of, and I believe that there is only two kinds of tea in this world, “sweet tea” and “swotty nancy-boy fancy pants tea”.

That said, I spent most of my adult life as a political conservative.  I believed that a government that governs least, governs best.  Unlike many of my southern brethren (and sistren), I didn’t give a rat’s ass about the “Religious Right” or other elements of the Republican party that differed from my own philosophy of “government has no business in my business”.

Then, one day, I woke up and the religious kooks took over the asylum.  Dubya was out there doing his best “guns, gawd, and gub’mint” routine, and there was no place in the Republican party for a guy who just wanted to be left alone to live his life his own way.  I couldn’t go with the Democrats because they were the party of “liberal college kids, poor people, Yankees, and Ted Kennedy”.  I really didn’t care what they had to offer, which is fortunate because they had very little to offer except opposition to Bush.

In 2004, I held my nose as I voted for John Kerry.  I wasn’t voting for him as much as I was voting “no” on 4 more years of Dubya-nomics.  John Kerry is about as inspiring as a pep talk from Ben Stein.  I was dreading 2008 because I assumed that it would be the coronation of Hillary Clinton, and like most other southerners, I believed that she was one step away from the Antichrist himself.

A funny thing happened on the way to her coronation.

I started paying attention to some of the rhetoric coming from the Democrats.  I started hearing words like “middle class tax cut” and “balanced budget”.  Instead of the “I’d like to teach the world to sing” foreign policy stances of Liberals past, I was hearing “We’ve got to go into Afghanistan and Pakistan and get Osama bin Laden”.  I was hearing criticism of the Iraq war, not because they were defeatist, or pacifist, but because our government was going after the wrong guy.  Meanwhile, our “Conservative” administration was promoting things like the Patriot Act, and engaging in a systematic erosion of rights, civil and otherwise, in the name of some nebulous “War of Terror”.

In all of this, I still held the belief that “Socialism is Evil”.  I was particularly fond of the canard that Socialized health care would be run with the cost-effectiveness of the military and the bedside manner of the IRS.

Then I started reading stuff like this…

One of my favorite political authors is James Carville.  When he managed Bill Clinton’s campaign in 1992, he had 3 issues on the white board in his “War Room”

  1. Change vs. more of the same.
  2. The economy, stupid.
  3. Don’t forget health care.

Sound familiar?  It’s a winning formula for any election.  If things are good, you want more of the same.  If not, go the other way.  I’ve heard that somewhere else, but I can’t remember where.

One of Carville’s most memorable phrases is one that he got from his momma.  “Tell me who you run with, and I’ll tell you who you are.”  In fact, I seem to remember stealing that phrase for something, but I can’t remember precisely what it was…

It is an article of faith in some parts of this country that Europe is a Socialist cess-pool where nobody works, and the government is nanny to a bunch of lazy malcontents.  Of course those of us who have actually spoken to a real live European know that they seem to be happy, well-adjusted, and oh-so-amused at the continuing hijinks of “Those crazy Americans”.  We work harder, for more hours and get less for it than our European friends, and yet we’re the ones turning our collective noses up at them.  While Europeans are enjoying between 4 and 6 weeks of vacation (PAID!!!) per year, many Americans don’t even take the 2 to 3 weeks per year that we receive.  Some might argue that adopting a European approach would “slow us down”, however the overall health and welfare of a society is measured in terms that go beyond mere economic output.

When you consider that much of our economic “productivity” is based on borrowing, lending, and speculation, maybe a more pragmatic, “slower” approach is in order.  Maybe re-channeling some of that economic activity directly into things that benefit all of us such as health care, or more worker-friendly labor regulations might be better for us in the long run.

Oh, by the way… Last year the European Union surpassed the United States as the largest economy in the world.  Maybe we could learn something from them.

Monday Morning Rant


These are just things that popped up in my head over the weekend.  I may expand on some of these topics later, but right now I’m dealing with a fussy 6 week old girl and I’m heading to the office shortly.

  • Since when do Liberals have a monopoly on “Big Government”?  The last Liberal President ran a budget surplus.  The current Conservative President is running record deficits.  Liberals might be guilty of “tax and spend” on occasion, but that is preferable to “tax cut and spend”.  When the time comes, and we have to pay off this debt, it’s going to be ugly.
  • Candidates who deliberately misstate issues in order to score easy points with voters are one of the biggest problems we have in Government.  Jim Martin, the Democratic candidate for US Senate here in Georgia, is calling the Fair Tax “a 23% national sales tax” without mentioning that it completely eliminates Income Tax, Estate Tax, Capital Gains Tax, and half a dozen other taxes.  I voted Democrat in more than a few races this year, but this one ad was enough for me to vote for Saxby Chambliss, who sponsored the Fair Tax in the Senate.
  • Thanks to Barack Obama, I am now forced to root for the Phillies to win the World Series in 5 games.  He’s gonna get killed in the polls if he winds up pushing back the start of game 6 just so he can blanket the airwaves with a 30 minute speech.  Does he really think that voters in Pennsylvania and Florida (two states that are very much “in play” this year) are going to want to hear him talk instead of watching their teams in the Fall Classic?  I don’t care how important the election is to you, you have to understand the audience, and the audience just wants to watch the damn game.  Would it really have killed Obama to schedule his speech half an hour earlier or, even better, on the day before? (travel day for both teams)
  • Thank you, Penn State, for making sure that Ohio State will not be in the BCS Championship Game for the third year running.  If only you could do something about USC.
  • Please, mighty gods of college football, do something about Alabama and Georgia.  Maybe let Auburn bring back a half dozen NFL alumni for a game or two?
  • Wrath of the Lich King drops on November 13.  Don’t expect me to be social, coherent, or even willing to leave the house that weekend.  I’ll still be writing, but it will be for that other blog. (You know… the one I get paid to write?)

Death smiles at us all…


…and all we can do is smile back.

I got a note from a friend of mine recently.  Josh and I go way back.  We went to college together, we drank together, we worked together.  I was fortunate enough to meet his family on multiple occasions, and we have both stood as groomsmen at each of our respective weddings.

We’re tight, in other words.

In the course of the 15 or 16 years that we have known each other, we developed little in-jokes that we could make at each other’s expense, knowing that nobody else in the world might find it funny, but we would.  Whether it was me losing my temper at a movie theater and throwing a full large coke at his feet, (or him bringing that story up at the most awkward possible time), or my making jokes about dating his little sister which would cause him to come as close to physical violence as anything else in this world. (for a doubly ironic twist, I’m twice his size… literally)  Josh has one of the most biting senses of humor that I’ve ever known, and a total lack of fear with respect to timing and audience.  He’d make a killer stand-up comic.

I tell you all of this because Josh wrote to me about a robbery in New Orleans.  A couple of punks went into a bakery and held the place up at gunpoint.   An off-duty police officer shot one of the teenagers twice in the chest while the other robber fled the scene.  As the wounded thug was falling, he started spraying bullets all over the place.  Thankfully, nobody else was hurt, but what really chilled me to the bone was reading the name of the Bakery’s owner.

Josh’s little sister.

Hillary Guttman and I have spoken maybe a dozen words to one another in all of the decade and a half that Josh and I have been friends.  However, I am extremely proud of her reaction to the botched robbery that could have very easily ended her life.  She didn’t “play the victim” or crawl into a shell out of fear. No, she kept her head high and dealt with the aftermath of a very dangerous situation with nerve and humor.

Gunshot Cookies

Gunshot Cookies

She patched up all of the bullet holes with little cutout hearts because she was thankful that those bullets only hit furniture and not people.

If you are ever in New Orleans and have the opportunity, stop by the Laurel Street Bakery (5433 Laurel St., 897-0576) and buy something, a muffin, a cookie, just something.  Folks like Hillary need to know that there are people in this world who admire them and are rooting for them.

As for the robbers, I can only hope that Darwin does his job on these two slowly and painfully.

Ask Massively: I feel a disturbance in the Force


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We are optimists here at Ask Massively. We went to go see Episode 3 despite the fact that Lucas managed to turn the Greatest Movie Villain of All Time into a whiny emo teenager. We choose to remember, fondly, the days of the Zahn Trilogy and Star Wars Mud and not the fiasco that was N.G.E.You can imagine that I have been dreading this question ever since I heard that BioWare is planning on creating an MMO set in the Star Wars universe called Star Wars: Old Republic.Dear Obi-Wan Massive,Is BioWare going to fall to the Curse of Lucas and release yet another crappy Star Wars video game? They...

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